Saturday, 20 June 2015

Happy 1st Father's Day.


At this very moment in time i'm listening to you singing 'Twinkle Twinkle' on the baby monitor upstairs. It's been nearly nine months now, and I don't think i'll ever get bored of listening to you with our daughter. Even when you're singing Elvis 'Return to Sender' or 'Stand By Me'  on a Sunday morning for a solid hour. I roll my eyes after the fifth play and even though I know you'll never make it on to Xfactor, inside my heart melts.
Thank you for being so heavily involved in every little thing. From the moment we found out we were pregnant you insisted on coming to every appointment you could possibly make, even if it meant leaving work a little earlier. You attended every scan, came to hear our baby's heart beat for the very first time and even the midwives  commented saying 'You know, you don't have to attend every appointment they do get a bit repetitive!!' but you were there when you could, you wanted to be involved from the very start and I really appreciate it.
You pestered the midwives with questions and concerns so that you could be as prepared as you possibly could be for what was ahead, even if I kept having to telling you 
 'Shhhhhh, let them get on with their job.'
I'm glad you were concerned, it showed you cared.
You built up the pram, the nursery furniture and came home several times with baby clothes that you had went out and bought on your lunch break, even though the thought of dressing a baby girl scared the living day lights out of you- it was one of the first fears you expressed out loud when the sonographer handed us the 'pink' bag at our gender scan.
'How will I know what to dress her in??'
You have done a remarkable job by the way, (of course you are by no means ready to intern at Vogue, but you are doing better than I ever imagined.)
You have a major case of OCD when making sure her little socks are pulled right up, her face is completely clean, and there are no traces of fluff innbetween her fingers.
 It is hilarious. 
You listened to me complain for months on end about aches and pains, cry with frustration, comforted me when I was confused at all the physical and emotional changes going on in my body. You kept your mouth shut when you took the full brunt of hormonal breakdowns. You were always there when I needed a cuddle or a shoulder to cry or even just someone to vent my frustrations to (Which was pretty much 24/7) You perfected a very convincing 'Noooooo' when I asked you did I look monstrously obese at 40 weeks pregnant, and constantly told me I looked great even though I am so painfully aware that I didn't.
I was living in Disney pjammas and barely had the energy to brush my hair, but you always had something lovely to say even if it was just
 'Did you paint your nails today?, they're lovely'
It's nice that you noticed the little things.
You drove me around several different shops on a Friday night to curb my cravings and gained some sympathy weight with me, we even joked you were having a phantom pregnancy
 (Sorry!)
Thank you for holding my hand and helping me through labour, for making me laugh even when I was in extreme pain.  I honestly look back at our labour with amazing memories. You wore the hair net into the maternity ward kitchen not realising the sign only applied to staff. I honestly can't ever see the day that I won't find this absolutely hilarious! You still argue you were in the right. Ha!
You cut the cord, were the first person to dress Eva for the first time and give her her very first feed.
You once told me, years ago, that you never thought you'd be a dad, always the uncle. 
I was so delighted to see you holding your own little baby. Our little baby.
Thank you for always making us laugh. The longer i've known you I begin to question whether i'm laughing with you, or at you. But either way, you make me laugh, and more importantly our daughter, whether you are throwing her up in the air, upside down, hanging her by her feet.. (Ahhhh) She thinks you are a comedian. Please cherish every moment, as one day we'll be the most embarrassing people on the planet in her eyes, and that day will come around quicker than we'd like to think.
Thank you for the Saturday morning coffee, for bringing breakfast into me when I'm getting ready for work on a Sunday. Thank you for understanding that I'm not and never will be the Nigella type and that sometimes my dinners are a bit shit. You never complain though and know that sometimes I'm rushed for time.
We have had the best and the worst of times, are so madly in love looking at our daughter , and hours later can be calling each other every name under the sun. I don't think we really quite knew just how hard this journey would be. It can be stressful and frustrating at times and we have felt every emotion going- we broke up every night of the 4 month sleep regression and were one big happy family by the morning, but  in all honestly, I wouldn't choose anyone else to be on this journey with but you.
Well,  David Beckham might be nice, but I doubt he'd cope too well with my Disney pjammas and panda eyes from when i've been too exhausted to take off my make up.

Thank you for being patient, for giving up the tv in the evenings to watch In The Night Garden, for rocking our little woman to sleep in your arms when she's teething. For taking her to park and pushing her on the swings, and sitting her on your knee while you watch the football. For nipping out to Tescos no matter the time of the day when we've been out of calpol or nappies and for kissing our heads in the morning before you leave for work. 
Thank you for being an amazing Dad, partner and friend.
 
Happy First Father's Day!


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